@ShitUserStory

The internet nobody asked for.

linktr.ee/shituserstory
Joined January 2021
  • Tweets648
  • Following1
  • Followers107K
338Media
Shit User Story retweeted
GregsGadgets
@GregoryMcFaddenMay 19
These companies truly have no idea what regular people want
Allie K. Miller
@alliekmillerMay 19
One of the loudest applauses in the entire Google keynote: Nishtha put on the new Gentle Monster + Gemini glasses, tapped the side to summon Gemini, and ALL in one prompt said “take a photo and put a cartoon blimp in the sky that says Google IO 2026” and within seconds, the preview of the edited photo from nano banana appeared on her watch. I want to spend less time on screens. AI really is coming everywhere. And so much is driven by voice AI as the interaction mode. #Google
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As a… – meeting attendee I want… – AI meeting notes so that… – I have AI meeting notes
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As an... – iPhone 16 user I want... – an iPhone 17 so that... – I have an iPhone 17 #AppleEvent #iPhone16
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As an… – #iOS26 user I want… – a translucent UI that reflects and refracts its surroundings, delivering a new level of vitality across controls so that… – I can struggle to read
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As a… – user I want… – unlabelled icons so that… – delight
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Shit User Story retweeted
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory3 Nov 2021
As an… – Instagram user I want to… – expand fifty-three comments, three comments at a time, in reverse chronological order so that… – I can read the conversation
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As an... – iPhone 15 owner I want... – an iPhone 16 so that... – I have an iPhone 16 #AppleEvent #iPhone16
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As a... – website visitor I want... – multiple large stylesheets hosted in various places so that... – I can briefly experience the internet of 1998
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As a... – user pasting text from multiple sources I want to... – paste the source formatting by default so that... – all of my documents have that professional, ransom-note vibe
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As a… – user I want… – AI in every product so that… –
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Inspired by my ✨AI-optimised ✨ washing machine.
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Shit User Story retweeted
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory1 Jun 2021
As a... – consumer I want to... – see my favourite multinational corporations update their social media graphics on June 1st so that... – it distracts me from their presence and business relationships in nations with limited LGBTQ+ rights
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As an… – Instagram user I want… – an overwhelming number of options displayed in a wacky pile of buttons so that… – I can add fucking everything to my story
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As a… – Twitter user I want… – access to the world’s most accurate real-time information source, a global town square for communication so that… – I can be repeatedly told to look between letters on my keyboard
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Shit User Story retweeted
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory6 Jul 2021
As a… – website visitor I want to… – patiently wait for content to load dynamically so that… – I am awash with delight
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As a… – Twitter user I want… – free speech so that… – ░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
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Shit User Story retweeted
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory1 Feb 2021
As a... – registering user I want to... – have my email address begin to validate after I type the first character so that... – I understand that 'c' isn't considered sufficient and I should continue to type
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Shit User Story retweeted
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory8 Apr 2021
As a... – restaurant website visitor I want to... – have the restaurant phone number appear as an uncopiable raster image on page 9 of their 48mb stock-photo-filled pdf menu So that... – I can call them
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As a… – Google user I want to… – sign in to my account so that… – I am signed in to my account
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As a... – Twitter user I want to... – have the timeline refresh a couple of seconds after opening the app So that... – the tweet I am half-way through reading is replaced with a more relevant, promoted tweet.
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