The internet nobody asked for.
Joined January 2021
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- Followers107K
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Shit User Story retweeted
These companies truly have no idea what regular people want
One of the loudest applauses in the entire Google keynote:
Nishtha put on the new Gentle Monster + Gemini glasses, tapped the side to summon Gemini, and ALL in one prompt said “take a photo and put a cartoon blimp in the sky that says Google IO 2026” and within seconds, the preview of the edited photo from nano banana appeared on her watch.
I want to spend less time on screens.
AI really is coming everywhere. And so much is driven by voice AI as the interaction mode.
#Google
Shit User Story retweeted
As a…
– user
I want…
– unlabelled icons
so that…
– delight
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Shit User Story retweeted
As an…
– Instagram user
I want to…
– expand fifty-three comments, three comments at a time, in reverse chronological order
so that…
– I can read the conversation
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Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– website visitor
I want...
– multiple large stylesheets hosted in various places
so that...
– I can briefly experience the internet of 1998
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– user pasting text from multiple sources
I want to...
– paste the source formatting by default
so that...
– all of my documents have that professional, ransom-note vibe
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– consumer
I want to...
– see my favourite multinational corporations update their social media graphics on June 1st
so that...
– it distracts me from their presence and business relationships in nations with limited LGBTQ+ rights
Shit User Story retweeted
As a…
– website visitor
I want to…
– patiently wait for content to load dynamically
so that…
– I am awash with delight
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– registering user
I want to...
– have my email address begin to validate after I type the first character
so that...
– I understand that 'c' isn't considered sufficient and I should continue to type
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– restaurant website visitor
I want to...
– have the restaurant phone number appear as an uncopiable raster image on page 9 of their 48mb stock-photo-filled pdf menu
So that...
– I can call them
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– Twitter user
I want to...
– have the timeline refresh a couple of seconds after opening the app
So that...
– the tweet I am half-way through reading is replaced with a more relevant, promoted tweet.
Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– registering user
I want to...
– inherit a surname with a minimum of three characters, without spaces, hyphens, or accents
so that...
– it can be considered valid by the backend, which was built by John Smith
Shit User Story retweeted
As a
recipe reader
I want to
dismiss cookies, have a video ad follow me down the page, and read why this cake conjures up memories of the author's childhood, before reaching the actual recipe
so that
I feel connected to the author, before fully committing to mixing ingredients
Shit User Story retweeted
As a…
– user
I want…
– a strategically-timed, comprehensive rebrand
so that…
– negative discourse regarding company practices can be briefly veiled with commentary regarding new name, logo, and brand assets, alongside excessively-shared parodies of the brand in meme format
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Shit User Story retweeted
As a...
– website visitor
I want to...
– visit the FAQ page
so that...
– I can read answers to a bunch of stupid questions that nobody has ever asked, littered with SEO keywords, that Barry from the marketing department insists is helping drive organic traffic
Shit User Story retweeted
@ShitUserStory mention in @uxdesigncc state of UX 2022 is my favourite part 😭
We wrote a thing:
trends.uxdesign.cc/
