Simple (@Simple_john1) header
Simple (@Simple_john1) profile picture

Read something other than your own book.

Probably hard at it
Joined March 2009
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Russell Brand says all his friends have abandoned him and he can't find one person who's prepared to provide a character witness statement in Court. Maybe he could ask his old mate Bob Geldof...? 🤔 😂 #RussellBrand #WhataCunt
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
For context; this happened at the NME 2006 Awards. Earlier that year Russell Brand had "dated" Bob Geldof's daughter Peaches. Peaches was 16 at the time. Russell Brand was 31. nme.com/nme-awards/awa… yahoo.com/entertainment/…
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Replying to @BurnsideWasTosh
I couldn't agree more. After successfully delivering 25 new build properties, I had planned on purchasing land to build 50. The Government, planning, councils, and others have done absolutely everything to drive costs up. It has got to the point where the risk is simply not worth it, and I decided not to proceed. The only companies that can afford it are those that are already huge and can scale the numbers. The small to medium companies have been shut out, much like other sectors. Totally depressing.
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Absolutely disgusted to hear that the bedroom doors at @MillerandCarter Aughton don’t lock My daughter is supposed to be staying overnight for business She’s leaving She’ll either try to find alternative accommodation or have to travel to friends in Liverpool for the night
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Replying to @shitbritishpics
Miss you every day
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The unwritten rule of cricket: NEVER bowl a bouncer to a fast bowler who can bowl 95mph back at you. 😭 After being struck flush on the helmet by a Fanie de Villiers bouncer, the South African slip cordon laughed. Big Devon looked at them, made a promise, and turned the second innings into an absolute warzone. Allan Donald later called it "the most destructive piece of fast bowling I have ever seen."🤯 Devon Malcolm turned a bruised helmet into a career-defining 9 for 57 demolition. 🔥
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Sad news today. After 5 years of medical training, one of my mates has been struck off due to a minor discretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer do the job he loves. What a waste of time and money. Genuinely a great guy and a brilliant vet
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Little Lucciano surprised his grandfather Frankie with a duet! 👏👏👏
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On Arsene Wenger’s birthday, a reminder of his epic battles with his arch-nemesis. We’re not talking about Sir Alex. We’re not talking about Jose. We’re talking about that bastard zip on his big winter coat...
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Quite possibly THE best scene in any film, ever 🔫🎬🔫 #FannyCraddock
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New Evidence Confirms Noah’s Ark?!
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Replying to @GreggAWallace
put a pair of specs on that spoon and it will look like yer head..
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Piers Morgan - Is it true that 4000 people have died in care homes, yes or no?... why are you laughing?.. what's the matter with you? Helen Whately(care minister) - I'm not laughing Piers Morgan - I just asked you if 4000 elderly people have died & all you can do is laugh #GMB
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She’s not well…
Bev Turner GBNews - Russell Brand is a hero, it’s a media stitch up. This aged well…
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If you had a hour with me what would you do?
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Replying to @Simple_john1
Is that a typo?
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Gregg's post from his daughter's wedding telling you to appreciate what is beautiful and it's just a picture of him
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Reform crumbling, Danny Tommo, Joey Barton and the Tates behind bars. Russell Brand and Tommy Robinson on their way in real soon. WE ARE SO BACK!
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Me on your dick
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When Kieran Richardson travelled to Greece with Manchester United in October 2002, he had just turned 18 and was earning £180 a week. Richardson had been offered a professional contract, but he and his dad had decided to turn it down until he felt he’d earned it. “I don’t want to be a pro until I’m worthy of being a pro.” On the 23rd of October, United were playing Olympiacos in the Champions League, with Richardson named among the substitutes. United had taken a 2-0 lead before Olympiacos fought back to make it 2-2. Paul Scholes scored in the 83rd minute to put United ahead again, and with only a few minutes remaining, Ferguson suddenly called Richardson over. “Kieran, get on the pitch now.” Richardson hadn’t even warmed up, but Ferguson was already shouting towards the referee to get the substitution made. “Ref, do the thing now, get him on.” “I’m like, ‘s***, get on quick.’” As Richardson ran past Ferguson to make his debut, he heard him say: “Happy birthday, son.” Richardson replaced Juan Sebastián Verón, and United held on to win 3-2. There was a reason Ferguson had been so desperate to get him onto the pitch. United’s players received a £12,000 bonus for winning a Champions League match, and Richardson had just qualified for it. “I was in the changing room after and thinking, ‘woah, there’s big dough coming in.’” For someone earning £180 a week, it was an unbelievable amount of money. When Richardson checked his payslip, there it was. “I saw £12,000, Champions League bonus.” “Bang, £12,000. Sick.” And he already had plans for how to spend it. “Get me down to the Trafford Centre and I’m buying some jeans and trainers.” Richardson never forgot what Ferguson had done for him that night. “It was such a nice touch, what a nice guy.” #football
🤖 Made with AI
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Ian Hislop- His (Jeffery Archer) entire career was spent bringing the Tory party in to disrupt and Kemi Badenoch said he was a great guy. She called Angela Rayner a disgrace. If she is a disgrace what is someone who has been inside for lying & getting other people to lie? #hignfy
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