@TheCalCentel

Your one-stop (parody) shop for all things California Golden Bears, moderated and fact-checked by real Calgorithm patriots.

 Bear Territory
calcentel.com
Joined December 2024
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  • Following113
  • Followers6.2K
291Media
HEISMAN WINNERS UNTIL 2070 SCRIPT LEAKED 🚨🚨🚨
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Stanford still has 0 ethical wins btw
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BREAKING: Pittsburgh Steelers QB and NFL Veteran Aaron Rodgers has been granted a fourth year of NCAA eligibility by a California judge. Rodgers, 42, is set to make his first start for Cal in twenty-two years.
Tell The Whole Damn World!
@Win4CalOct 17
Hearing A LOT of chatter about some developing news regarding Cal Football... Not going to speculate right now. But will definitely share my thoughts if/when things come to light. Hang tough, Golden Bear fans.
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BREAKING NEWS: Insiders believe local leader and beloved philanthropist, Mike the Hot Dog Mayor, will announce his presidential campaign imminently
Mike the Hot Dog Mayor
@MikeHotDogMayorOct 16
I think the Mike the Hot Dog Mayor era is coming to a close.
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Our bad
Joaquin Ruiz@WalkingRuizOct 13
Cal HC Tosh Lupoi on ignoring “outside noise” entering Saturday night’s game vs. Wake Forest: “I'm just blessed to have a dominator's mindset to not listen to any of you guys.” #Respect 😂
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Yikes!
Brad@Brad13____Oct 12
UCLA’s hopes and dreams now rest with this guy at quarterback. God speed Bruins
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BERKELEY YOU LISTEN TO ME. IF YOU’RE AT A BOBA SHOP RIGHT NOW- ANY KIND OF CONVENIENCE STORE OR CAFE- GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON. THEIR MONEY IS YOUR MONEY AS OF RIGHT NOW
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Remember, we storm the field after the first screen pass that ends with a TFL
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New conference just dropped
Aaron Rupar
@atruparOct 8
JD Vance: "Some of America's most elite universities bring in foreigners to undercut the wages of American residents. There are 9 universities in particular that we believe merit an investigation. Those are Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Brown, the University of Pittsburg, UC Davis, Cal Tech, Arizona State, and MIT."
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Went to your hood and everyone knew you @coachjfranklin
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The script is intact.
Joaquin Ruiz@WalkingRuizOct 6
Tosh said Pat McCann was drawing up new plays on iPads — and due to Cal’s various injuries — with players who had never been in certain spots. “Maniac energy.”
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VT Hate Week
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Well that game sucked. Time to jack off
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Mayor Adena Ishii if you're reading this we'd like to talk to you about an opportunity to build 2,500+ units of high-density housing on a lot at 2227 Piedmont that is not being utilized
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Is there anything else you’d like to discuss with the class
Ghost
@GhostofGarbersOct 1
How did this fly under the radar. Devin Brown struggled in the first half and got benched. His team still lost to JKS (John-Keawe Sagapolutele) You really can’t make this stuff up.
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We are monitoring the situation
Thomas Dunn
@Thomasdunn24Sep 29
A structure change in the Cal media schedule this week Before each prior game this season on Tuesdays, HC Tosh Lupoi, OC Jordan Somerville, DC Michael Hutchings and select players would meet with reporters For pre UNLV, it’s currently slated for just Tosh at the podium
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Stay off my turf tubby. Fries in the bag @thefreepeach
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State of the Program
Cal Football
@CalFootballSep 26
Bringing the 𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗚𝗬: @TuiteleAj 🔋 Presented by AU Energy. #GoBears
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2026 Big Game preview
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Cal will be wearing Banana colored jerseys versus Clemson in solidarity with Minion Rush [source: @CalFootball]
ToonHive
@ToonHiveSep 22
‘Despicable Me: Minion Rush’ is shutting down after 13 years.
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Nam Le has been sentenced to a cage match with the Bootysnatcher, a member of the football staff had reported to CalCentel
Girl Father
@TIMBO_SL1CESep 24
Enjoyed the show up until Nam stabbed us right in the back
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