Unsolicited idea for @theharryshearer alt verse for Inspector General: he’s not a general (he commands no soldiers); he’s not an inspector (he peeks over no shoulders)
You can only pick one:
A) Toes, no fingers
B) Fingers, no toes
C) Half toes, half fingers, half a dick
D) Toes and fingers, but dick in inconvenient spot
TBD
E) Measure your life by your business successes
Is there a new thing where influencers are trying to get punched in the face by random men for clout? Cuz bet
Isthmus of Garbage retweeted
Men will literally get quasi-exorcised by Gandalf instead of going to therapy
I also refuse to work with Robert De Niro like Jesus, Bob, TAKE A HINT!
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No way my mamaw was right Andy Reid just bit the football off the top of the trophy and now vax needles are shooting out like a tshirt cannon
Y’all telling me there’s a band called Goose AND a band called Geese? FOH the very definition of white privilege
Just want to say that I am stoked that @thetoadies are still getting featured in movies n shit and if they are ever canceled NEVER TELL ME!!!





