@WTMMP
Joined April 2017
  • Tweets949
  • Following164
  • Followers24.9K
209Media
honest to god i think stop doing math might be the greatest shitpost ever made
61
2,764
98
20,411
384,593
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP6 Apr 2022
29
1,514
93
8,985
a lot of animals seem cute and then you get a gander at their eyes and see a devil looking back at you. nothing but running numbers on how easy they could kill you. god put them here to watch us
1
29
2
159
that doesn't sound like something the village elders would have decreed...
2
95
1
991
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP8 Oct 2021
bugs under a rock always behave as they were doing something extremely profane the moment before you lifted it. They flee like thieves without bothering to see who it is. This is how you all would act if I laid my eyes on you
1
125
1
863
At times, the joy that life attacks me with is unbearable and leads to gasping hysterical laughter. I find myself completely out of control and wonder how could life could surprise me again and again and again, so completely. How could a man be a cynic? It is a sin.
205
6,497
600
35,086
first of all, the catacombs weren't "left unguarded by some lackwit,"
1
9
1
92
lugging a 100lb bag of rice into the break room on my first day and then setting up 5 mouse traps
1
7
172
mercury is in gatorade
4
7
1
129
England’s queen recently passed away. Knowing this website, jokesters will be itching to get a word in about that over the next few days.
6
31
3
757
all guys have a shirt which is their best shirt. that's just guys for ya...
2
20
2
215
Replying to @WTMMP
Not huge on NFTs since it’s a scammy/opportunistic-filled space with a lot of delusions on what they are, the camp on the opposite side end that gets religiously enraged by them seem similarly unhinged from reality. Cool experiment that wasn’t for me. Ignore the barking dogs.
1
1
27
That grass over there is definitely much greener. I can see it clearly from here, it's for sure substantially more green. This grass over here is shit
1
53
269
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP22 Jan 2022
There should be a US state full of tin can robots. A state that is all ants. A state that is "The Sewers." A state that is made out of Candy. A state that is a bunch of spikes. A state that is a guy (the guy IS the state). He carries another state that is a treasure box of jewels
6
39
6
299
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP1 Apr 2020
8
96
4
584
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP21 Aug 2021
doctors agree BLOOD SPEED is the #1 measure of Life Itself. I clocked my cells going at 180mph, over 40x faster than an normal Human's. I resolved on the spot that I would never complain about anything again in my life or utter a word of cruelty toward anyone, nor delay any task
3
76
2
547
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP2 Feb 2020
3
179
5
816
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP20 Dec 2020
thinking of sitting out on a porch swing and spinning yarns. Next summer. Hot nights. Ill give anyone within spitting distance a load of hog wash right between the ears. Tell em I was in the Circus. tell em anything, just to let them hear it. They'll believe it too.
2
41
2
287
WTMMP retweeted
WTMMP@WTMMP23 Jun 2020
Trolley problem? I do not understand this. If the trolley is on time. Then there is no Problem. Similar for prisoners dilemma: Prisoners are locked in tight, yes? They cannot escape? Then no dilemma.
1
79
3
616
oh shit i have a really good idea for nfts are people still buying that shit
19
2
136
Load more