obsessed with understanding humans - how to live a life of deeper connection with yourself & the world around you. work with me - coaching👇🏼
Palo Alto, CA
Joined May 2020
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how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
if i have any multi-millionaire/billionaires who are fans of my account & are interested in being a sponsor of said content - please do reach out :D (actually!)
sincerely,
a person who wonders if she should go back to a traditional job every other week but feels a deep commitment to keep creating for all of you
one of my good friends has a large billionaire patron who sponsors his content & is largely hands off. this means he doesn’t have to run specific sponsors or ads on his platform that feel unnatural & disruptive.
from a strict creator monetization + livability perspective this seems like the cleanest model for content creation.
i.e. creator can focus entirely on producing interesting work & the audience gets an undisturbed experience. the patron gets cultural influence, intellectual stimulation, or simply the satisfaction. more wealthy ppl should do this.
how often do you delay joy?
big part of life maxxing is that you don’t need to wait for permission or an excuse to go make your life happen *now*
how to life maxx more:
> get off your phone
> say yes to spontaneous plans even when you're tired - some of the best nights are unplanned
> talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx
> make a bucket list and work your way through said bucket list!!
> stop opting for boring hangs. switch things up with your friends. try something new!!
> start a random hobby just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking. not everything needs to "be productive" ok??
> be 5% more silly in your life. dance in your room, sing badly in the car, crack a bad joke. it's not that serious. grow the silly muscle
> surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious
> don't forget the basics: move your body, get sunlight, take your vitamins, eat well, sleep
> your time to live life is happening NOW so stop saving it for later!!
get off those phones & out into the real world people!!
lets go PLAY!!!
you can make the right decision AND still have doubts
there’s this assumption that you must be 100% certain before moving forward with big decisions
but what if you could be 60% sure you’re right & still go after it?
a better way to navigate the age old question: “what am I doing with my life”
you’re not being graded anymore:
> this can either be very suffocating or very freeing
> but it’s the new reality so learn to get comfortable with it
> there is no longer one map telling you what to do - *you* get to decide for yourself
> most people are out of touch with how to actually figure out what it is they want… they were always just told what to do
> grades, school, teachers - it all gave us structure and that’s all we knew for so long
> but you slowly see paths diverge. people ending up in different career paths, locations, marriages, partners, kids, income brackets
how to navigate the shift:
> stop asking “what am I doing with my life” it’s too big of a question (spoiler: most people don’t know anyway)
> move toward - “what do you want to aim for in the next month?”
> that moves you from a goal that’s impossible/daunting to something achievable
> identify what variables you’d most like to change in your life & where you want to move toward
> create BABY steps for yourself. if the step scares you, start smaller. life is just a series of the small compounding decisions we make over and over.
> learn what you DON'T want - elimination is just as valuable as finding what you love
> it's okay to want different things than others!! your timeline doesn't need to match theirs
> this is a lifelong journey. you won't figure it all out over night. commit to constantly re-evaluating what feels aligned
> find people who inspire you & ask for advice on how to get where you want to go
> nobody has it all figured out. everyone’s making it up. seriously.
> you have AGENCY! you get to decide what *you* want to do
so go start LIVING!!!
you’ve got the agency!!!
we’re all figuring it out!!!
you got this!!!
this is a series on all things social, dating, and life tips - follow along for more!!
(AND join newsletter in bio for more of the FUN)
xitter.cf/adele_bloch/status/186…
how good can life get when you flirt with it for 30 days?
let’s find out 👀
here’s the 5 rules to follow to join in:
there’s 4 categories of social connection
the key to a less lonely life is figure out which one you’re missing:
i feel like there's actually 4 types of friendships:
1/ comfort
2/ do stuff
3/ deep talk
4/ ambient
the KEY to a less lonely life is to figure out which one you're missing...
--
comfort friends
these are the people you don't have to explain yourself around. they're familiar. you feel most yourself around them. there's a type of loving understanding that comes in their presence - they've probably known you for a while, there's shared history, which creates a natural ease.
do stuff friends
people to DO stuff with - hiking, sports, classes, hobbies. they might not even know that much about you - but you have fun together and bond over shared experiences. they probably live near you and you may see them frequently. you find connection through doing, not just talking.
deep talk friends
people who are more in-the-know about your day to day challenges. you share openly with them. you may see the world similarly. they are values-aligned with the current version of you. these are the people who know you as you are TODAY, not just who you once were.
ambient connection
this one's underrated - the feeling that humans are ambiently around you. from smiling at the barista to chatting with a stranger in the grocery store line. remote workers may be particularly prone to lacking this. knowing you're part of this ambient human energy at all moments.
---
the key to a less lonely life is to figure out which TYPE of connection you're missing most
THEN you can create an actionable path forward to fill that gap!
you got it!!!
my dad is so cute
for his 70th birthday he planned the most beautiful weekend
a lesson on how to do gatherings RIGHT!
my dad is so cute.
last year, he wanted to figure out how to spend the next season of his life. he's 68 years old.
he decided to start making youtube videos as "coach simon, a certified financial coach."
he even got a little hat that says "coach" and he wears it in every video 🥹
he spends his whole week making videos & sends the family lil email updates telling us to check it out
his videos only got ~100 views for a while.
but he keeps making them.
he's always so proud when he figures out a new insight to get more views.
last week, his first video took off and he got ~3K view. and he made it to 1000 subscribers đź’Ş
thanks coach simon for reminding us that you can always reinvent yourself & take on new challenges 🩶
this is a series on all things social, dating, and life tips - follow along for more!!
(AND join newsletter in bio for more flirting with life)
xitter.cf/adele_bloch/status/186…
how to make friends as an adult:
(without the existential dread you've missed your chance)
tips:
> get off your couch
> say YES to things even if you're tired
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> show up consistently (don't flake)
> ask follow-up questions, remember the details, be vulnerable
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> prioritize friendship like you would exercise - it requires effort & time
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> the power of network effects is real - you never know when someone introduces you to someone who becomes your new best friend
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
go put yourself out there!!!
people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got it!!!
how to life maxx more:
> get off your phone
> say yes to spontaneous plans even when you're tired - some of the best nights are unplanned
> talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx
> make a bucket list and work your way through said bucket list!!
> stop opting for boring hangs. switch things up with your friends. try something new!!
> start a random hobby just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking. not everything needs to "be productive" ok??
> be 5% more silly in your life. dance in your room, sing badly in the car, crack a bad joke. it's not that serious. grow the silly muscle
> surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious
> don't forget the basics: move your body, get sunlight, take your vitamins, eat well, sleep
> your time to live life is happening NOW so stop saving it for later!!
get off those phones & out into the real world people!!
lets go PLAY!!!
social connection is a MUSCLE! it isn’t something you can lose. you get better at with every rep that you put in
> smile at the barista
> chat with a stranger in the grocery store line
> text old friends
> find strangers to play volleyball with
put in the REPS!
how to strangermaxx:
> stay at events 10-15 min longer than you want to - push through the initial discomfort
> pick one new social challenge per week that feels a little more daring than usual!
> talk to a stranger in line, do something alone, strike up a convo at an event - start small
> it will be like growing a muscle so get your reps in
> remember people are WAY less focused on you than you think. they're in their own heads too
> have the audacity to believe that people ARE curious about you. they WANT to hear from you!!
> get off your phone & open up your body language
> smile, make eye contact, and practice 5 seconds of courage
> not every interaction will click and that's fine - you're practicing!!
> you'll see how people are EXCITED to talk to you & strangers aren't as scary as they seem!!
there's a whole world out there for you filled with wonderful conversations, laughter, and kindness with strangers
lean in!!!
have fun!!!
flirting with life is the KEY to success in so many areas of life across love, friendships, career, happiness. a way to invite magic & serendipity into every day
how to flirt with life:
(as a professional life flirter)
> go to things alone! you'll end up in more spontaneous situations
> talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx
> be 5% more silly in your life. dance in your room, sing badly in the car, crack a bad joke. it's not that serious. grow the silly muscle
> playing it cool is overrated and people will never be able to know the real you
> make a bucket list and work your way through said bucket list!!
> try to find the good/kindness/love in every single person that you come across. get curious about this human in front of you that's filled with endless stories, thoughts, and perspectives
> stop dimming your light to make others comfortable. not everyone will be for you & that's okay. it's not that deep!
> start a random hobby just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking. not everything needs to "be productive" ok??
> react authentically - laugh loudly, get animated, show emotion, be YOU!
> do something random *JUST BECAUSE* you feel like it - take the long way home, extend the walk, buy the chocolate, eat the ice cream
> surround yourself with people and spaces that light you up & make you feel like the BEST version of you
> compliment people genuinely. "you seem really interesting" beats small talk any day. you can catch me giving out at least 1 compliment per day
> surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious
flirt with LIFE!!!
it's beautiful out there
let life surprise you!!!
dare yourself to enjoy it for the short time that we're all here - you got nothing to lose!!!
as someone who didn't have the most safety around arguments growing up, it's been a delightful pleasure to learn an argument can feel *safe*. you can disagree and still be safe to feel what you feel, to be upset, to be angry, to be sad. that it is safe to speak up. that you don't have to back away from what you're feeling. that successful arguing & repairing is actually a path for deep *closeness* care and fulfillment.
Rupture + repair. It’s not a question of whether or not you’ll fight (you will) but whether or not those fights bring you closer or drive you further apart. Are you trying to mutually understand each other? Do you come out of it better? And then… truly I think this is hard but comes down to gut. Imagine your life with this person. You shouldn’t feel like you’re staring down the barrel of a gun. And finally. How do you know it’s right? When it brings you peace. My two cents (I probably have more but will think about it).