r/dating_advice survivor
Joined December 2024
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Most men today are both overly romantic and overly defeatist. The former is the cause of the latter. You can watch as many RP podcasts as you want. Doesn't matter if you still default to "going above and beyond" before she even gives a dam.
For the average guy, a lot of things about women are very paradoxical. In a previous thread where I was debating this, I made the claim that women are far more likely to be icked out by a random internet guy asking a woman on a hike, than over to his place. Yes, you read that right. There are several reasons for this, but it all comes down to the fact that a man asking a woman on a first date for a hike raises way more questions (and has way more downsides) than a guy asking a woman over to his place on a first date.
A hiking first date raises the following questions and insecurities in women:
Is he a 5-star Bill Bryson type hiker who expects me to scale some boulder in Boulder on the first date, all the while expecting me to look cute?! I don't want that.
What if the date is awkward halfway up and we run out of things to talk about? How can I quickly escape when we have another 1 hr back down the mountain? I don't want that.
Is he going to disappear me like Joe Goldberg in the middle of nowhere with no reception so I can't even do the obligatory location tracking/txt check in with my girlfriends? I definitely don't want that.
What kind of man wants to spend all this time with me with no easy exit if it doesn't go well? Is he a loser? Doesn't he have (male) friends do these (potentially) more hardcore activities with?
A straight-to-apartment first date raises one question and one question only:
Are we going to have enjoyable and consensual sex that feels like a win to me?
This man's agenda and intentions are 100% clear and provided the woman signs on, well, it's smooth sailing.
This will be part of a series of posts on here about a larger point: Women have a much higher bar for romance than they do for sex, just like women have a much higher bar for the Husband Material Guy than they do for Mr. Fun Guy. All the fun guy needs to do is make her FEEL. Husband material guy needs to jump through 1000 hoops, constantly reassuring her he has the "right" agenda all along the way.
Shorter version: be the fun guy. Mr. Romance is creepy because again, women are far more icked out by a guy asking a woman on a first date for a hike, than a first date over to his place.
A guy who can actually tell women things and them think it's the most natural thing in the world (rather than an imposition or even worse a violation), isn't worried if the weather is too cold. All about the vibe, as always. Also statements > questions.
Imagine typing all this out, as an allegedly big brained lawyer, and thinking it vindicates women.
Never crash out like dude. Still, the fact that she's even saying "I know you mentioned it was bleh when women didn't respond," reveals the date was off. A man shouldn't be whining about his lack of dates or success. The fact that he did, is more meaningful to her than a dam kiss
After one date
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This account (signup country NG) frequently posts similar dramatic dating chat screenshots often called engagement bait. The specific conversation's authenticity could not be independently verified.
x.com/popup_tddy
Funny take that's been going around here about male "intrasexual competition." However, men mostly engage in intrasexual competition by advertising COMFORT qualities, not attraction ones. They're the nice guy, the guy is OK waiting, the guy who "actually" listens to women etc
This quoted post is unavailable.
1. Gillettegate sounds like a tall tale.
2. Even if it's not, women will bring up these things as shit tests and see how the guy responds. And if the guy was weird/too needy for sex, that's that.
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Back in the good old days, we talked about the difference between conditions and objections. This is a condition and indeed far from a rejection. But unfortunately this guy let his ego and "logic" get in the way instead of reading the room and going on a first date.
First off, a "9/10 woman" isn't getting with a 7/10 man. As for the rest, it's what game aware men have always said. If a woman is red hot for you, all the "logic" and discernment goes out of the window. If this weren't the case, Tinder Swindler wouldn't have been able to swindle
Men have it all backwards. The more a woman likes you for a relationship and the less certain she is that you will commit, the longer she will make you wait.
If she doesn't like you enough to date you, there won't be any reason to make you wait. If she likes you but knows the ball is in her court and that she's your best option, there won't be any reason to make you wait.
An 9/10 woman has 0 reason to make a 7/10 man wait. But she has a lot of reason to make a 10/10 man wait, unless she is not looking for a relationship.
Get it?
bcool retweeted
There is no chad. Chad is an internet abstraction.
There are men who act and men who don't.
Most men really don't know anything about women or the "secret society." But ignorance is one thing. Confident ignorance is the killer.
bcool retweeted
The more women you sleep with, the higher your standards rise.
This does make it harder to fall in love.
But not impossible.
Abundance just makes you more selective.
If you had 100 friends, you wouldn't just become friends with just anybody.
Because you're not desperate.
bcool retweeted
"Then proceeds to tame him"
A man who can be tamed is not a beast. Or, a leader who can be made into a follower is not a, natural, leader.
So whatever she saw in him originally is proven to be false.
Or.
She will try to secure the man. And will try to be sure that the man is, it.
Her only tools are manipulation, drama, and control.
She will at times try to control you while trying to measure her own security, but presented as a win/lose.
"If you want to have me, you have to lose who you are".
Here's how you pass both tests in one:
I do whatever the fuck I want.
If I choose to be with you, is because I choose to. If I choose to be with someone else, there's nothing you can do to stop me.
I do what I want.
I bend to no one.
bcool retweeted
One time I was in a department store with my mom. It was the early 1990s. All the kids at school had Jordans. I wanted Jordans, of course, but my mom wasn’t going to lay out $100 when other sneakers cost $40.
Then I spotted a pair of Jordans on the shelf for $40. I got excited. I figured I’d finally get my pair. Then I saw something that stopped me cold: they were noticeably damaged. I put the pieces together quickly. This was why they were $40.
I got them anyway.
As it turns out, at 11 years old I had less discerning taste than the girl on Love Is Blind. That man is the damaged pair of Jordans. He comes very close to being the idealized man, but at every turn something is slightly off. He talks like Connecticut royalty while somehow seeming like a dork. He tries to seem suave and pulls it off just enough to make you wonder. Then he says something incelish.
He claims he’s never been in love, and you wonder: is that because you’re some emotionally cold playboy with a new woman every few weeks, or because you’re just a fucking loser?
Then you look at him more closely, and the damaged Jordans become impossible to ignore. In a certain light, he has great hair, a large frame, and an admirable jawline. But somehow it all comes together as the weird, bizarro, dollar-store version of a handsome man. An uncanny valley where every feature is almost right, making the whole thing feel even more wrong.
A pair of damaged sneakers that no one wanted.
But me, of course. I got my pair of Jordans. I was happy.
Scott Stewart is the Director of Engineering at SharkNinja, where he has multiple patents attributed to him.
Jacqueline “Jax” Guelli is a 31 year old aesthetician who admits she was a "sugar baby" in her 20s.
It's also been reported she was a mid-tier escort in Boston as well.
They are look-matched and yet she was physically repulsed by Stew to the point she ran off the show and ghosted him.
And now Stew is entertaining giving her another chance.
Modern dating is cooked.
bcool retweeted
This Man's true problem
Is that he has Aura
But he does not know that he has Aura
And therefore, he is allowing others, especially this woman, to dictate what he deserves
Aura is meant to be ABUSED
If you do not, others will take it and abuse YOUUUU
@aruvinchan
bcool retweeted
The reason the Manosphere is so important is because it's the "banned book" of the 21st century.
Nobody taught us that we have to be careful of female nature, hypergamy, dual mating strategy, provider hunters, manipulation, gaslighting, marriage, cohabitation, dead bedrooms, divorce, family court, cops, child alienation, false accusations, etc. etc.
Conversely, society, religion, culture, media, schools, parents, and women THEMSELVES only teach us that women are these delicate, innocent creatures capable of doing no wrong.
We're indoctrinated from a young age that it's our sacred duty to protect women, sacrifice ourselves for women, and foot the bill for life for women.
Because that's what a real man does.
They keep lying to us about the truth about women and constantly gaslight us that we're paranoid or overthinking it whenever we raise legitimate concerns and issues.
We've seen the bodies piling up, we've heard the horror stories, and now thank God it's no longer as easy as it was in the past to pull the wool over our eyes.
We men really are alone in this world -- everyone is against us, everyone is out to USE us.
We only have ourselves to trust.
This is exactly why the Manosphere is so damn important.
It's the only space that cares for men and puts men first.
THIS STUFF CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE.
IT CERTAINLY SAVED MINE.
I would have most likely ended up as an unappreciated, unseen, unloved husband-material workhorse playing house to some useless parasite with Baby Rabies that she expects me to fund for the next 20 years if I didn't develop mental clarity and break out of the mold early in my adult life.
Remember, this isn't stuff that's shoved down your throat by everyone from all directions.
This is stuff you have to proactively seek out for yourself, and, for too many of you, you found this stuff too late.
Only we men care for men.
Everyone else just wants us men to eat shit and work for the benefit of others until the day we die.
bcool retweeted
It’s inconceivable to a woman that other people aren’t the same as her. Because in her universe, they’re not really people. They’re an extension of her life.
“If men are so sad about not having casual sex, why don’t they just go have sex? That’s what I do.”
- @Archwinger1
