dave stone (@davestonecomedy) header
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stand-up comedian, full special PACK A LUNCH up now at https://teapawt.org/t.co/qa2dvoLpyZ…

West Hollywood , CA
Joined July 2010
Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)Photo by dave stone (@davestonecomedy)
dave stone retweeted
Of course Donald Trump thinks the midterm results had nothing to do with him because he’s the stupidest fuck to ever exist.
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dave stone retweeted
I cannot believe the Republican message of "get fucked" didn't resonate with people
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It's crazy the headline "A Powerful 80 Something Republican Who Raped Children and Convicted in Hush Money Case Died Today" isn't specific enough.
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dave stone retweeted
Joey Votto learning about the Broadcaster Jinx in real time. 😂 "I do not see the Braves scoring any more runs the rest of the way."
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If you can separate Christians from the KKK, you can separate Muslims from Al-Qaeda.
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dave stone retweeted
you can get trump to admit by almost anything by accusing him of not being the number one in the world at something
Q: China is one of the most repressive countries for journalists in the world-- TRUMP: Well, I don't know about that. I think we're repressive also
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dave stone retweeted
have the diesel trucks considered not buying Starbucks
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If Trump had actually been at ground zero on 9/11, he would’ve reminded us multiple times every single day for the past 25 years.
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Not one nod of approval. Not one cheer. Not one hand clap. Just stone cold silence. It’s good to see the professionals at NASA still take their job seriously and know when they’re being gaslighted. This is 100% complete and total rejection of Trump.
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dave stone retweeted
The wrong 80-year-old wig wearing diva died today.
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dave stone retweeted
Chef's kiss
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The Venn diagram of MAGA chuds who whined two months ago about how June should be “Veteran's Month," and the mouth breathing troglodytes who are calling the sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln “soft” is a perfect circle.
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No one will tell you to "suck it up" faster than a privileged rich white man who's never had to suck up anything in his entire life.
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Leaving Stephen Miller on the decoy plane is one decision Trump made that I can get behind.
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dave stone retweeted
One way to avoid munitions shortages is to stop firing them.
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dave stone retweeted
I watched Trump’s speech at the Correspondents’ Dinner last night. It’s hard to articulate how sad it made me. Sad and embarrassed and exhausted. Here is the thing about a man who is a joke. He can’t tell one. People think humor is a talent. It isn’t. It’s a capacity. To make someone laugh you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and to laugh at yourself you have to step outside of yourself and see what everyone else sees. For one second you have to be just another person in the room. Most people can do this by the time they are nine years old. He has never once managed it. Not in fifty years of cameras. Not for a second. That is not a quirk. It is a symptom. The muscle that lets you tell a joke is the same one that lets you feel what another person feels. A man who cannot survive being laughed at cannot imagine being anyone but himself. He will only ever be generous when it is photographed. He will only ever be kind when it is filmed. There is a name for it. So he stood up there and did what he always does. He hit down. He made jokes about people’s weight. He made jokes about their intelligence. He made jokes about how women look. He read out the names of people he doesn’t like, and mocked them. Always mocking. And when no one laughed he blamed his speech writers. The cruelty dressed as humor has worn so thin. And for the 30% of you still in the cult who will inevitably call me a crackhead and blame it all on my Dad, all I can say is please, for the love of God, open your eyes. Wake the fuck up. Have some dignity. Have some pride. Joe Biden wasn’t standing at that podium last night. Donald Trump was. And at the end of it he put on a red hat that said Trump 2028 and told the room he was running again. No one laughed because everyone knows he has no intention of leaving. Just another joke at our expense.
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I've watched Pete Hegseth testify and anyone who does so with an open mind, will readily see that he is a toxic caricature. He has delusions that he is starring in a war movie. He is arrogant and ignorant. His narrative never has any depth. He speaks as if what's good and what's right are not even complex subjects, or debates borne of perspective. He loves American Exceptionalism but believes that it's only defined by musculature and pomposity. He couldn't care less for us being a shining example for others, or a force for a greater good. He couldn't care less for sharing strategy or being accountable. He creates lasting disdain for America on a global level like few others ever have and make no mistake - this disdain will permeate for generations. He doesn't present arguments. He doesn't share justifications. He doesn't care for transparency, and the only thing he cares less for than that, is humanity. As a behaviorist, I can feel the things he's been accused of - like alcoholism and misogyny and reckless sharing of info - underlying his attitude and every utterance, and you can feel how unapologetic he is for any of it. He is a brazen politician serving an audience of one. He is a Made for TV concoction, and a vacuous mishmash of hormones and neurotransmitters. That he's running the US Defense Dept. is incredibly disgraceful, dangerous and disturbing.
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dave stone retweeted
The asshole who whines the most about voter fraud and election interference also believes that it’s not election interference if the interference benefits him The only provable voter fraud was committed by him when he tried to bully officials in Georgia to find him 11,780 votes.
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Lindsey Graham's death kinda feels like we got a free appetizer because our entrees were taking a long time. 🤔
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dave stone retweeted
Calling your enemy “communists” doesn’t make them communists. It just makes you sound ignorant.
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