Instead of buying a white noise machine you can save money by stuffing your garbage disposal with silverware and turning it on. Let it run through the night while you're sleeping. You won't be able to hear any of those minor nuisances from outside. I've been doing this for years

Dude it was just a GI Jane joke. Dude. Seriously? It was just GI Jane Joke. Dude. Seriously?

Leftists straight up voted for Bernie in 2016 and 2020 without payiing any mind to the fact that he was put in federal prison in 2009 for running the largest Ponzi scheme in American history

I got the new dime as change earlier this week. They're only making a few of them, and only for this year. Can't wait to sell this bad boy for $8.36 on eBay in 2034

The question is always more important than the answer for the question offers greater insight. The question offers insight into what is important to us; insight into what we deem worthy and deserving of answers; insight into who we are and what we are. And what we are is stupid

Philosophy is less a subject and more of an event that occurs under specific conditions at a very specific time. Each time it appears, it determines the question-worthiness of the questions it asks. We have determined shitty questions are worthy, like "What is consciousness?"

People are cunning at deceiving themselves and invent the most brilliant, sophisticated ways to throw themselves off of course, thus preventing themselves from producing anything brilliant or sophisticated. They're geniuses in their own respect, and they go nowhere in their lives

My brothers and I would watch WWE and try what we saw on each other and then one time I body slammed my brother into an AC unit and his skull cracked open and he had to get staples in his head.. he's all good though it was fine. And then he cracked my skull two years later

Cool clock, Ahmed! Want to bring it to the White House?

I've mentioned this before but imagine how stupid you would have to be to purchase something off of Chairish. Chairish attracts people at least twice as dumb as the average 1st Dibs customer. Anyways shouts out to the Chairish customer who purchased this lamp from me for $750

I think Kojeve's book on Hegel is actually pretty good despite the fact that we know with 100% certainty that its a result of a misreading. Even though we can all agree (right?) that it is flat-out wrong, it's still a good book. And it's a good book because it is flat-out wrong