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Sydney Sweeney is the funniest stress test feminism has ever encountered bc I was taught that tHE PaTriArChY reduces women to their bodies, denies them individual agency and imposes rules on female sexuality based on what everyone else thinks women ought to be. Meanwhile Sydney is independently wealthy, produces her own projects, owns businesses, chooses to monetize her own sexuality, gains power from doing it and appears completely uninterested in anyone’s permission. And somehow the feminist response is thousands of women materializing to explain that her body is AcksHuAllY a collective political resource and she has a responsibility to use it in ways they approve of bc otherwise she’s “setting women back 100 years” (fucking LOL) So congratulations ladies! You defeated the patriarchy by becoming an enormous decentralized committee of women policing another woman’s sexuality, scolding her for appealing to men and reminding her that her individual choices must remain subordinate to what is best for Women As A Class. Perhaps the funniest part is that the men supposedly enforcing this grand patriarchal system are mostly standing off to the side like “Sydney seems great, let her cook” while the Feminist Liberation Committee is furiously drafting new regulations for what she’s allowed to do with her own gigantic knockers. Incredible operation. You guys are fucking killing it. Extremely boss babe. Very liberation. No notes.