this is like a real and interesting thing passed through multiple layers of flanderization and goodharting (many such cases). it's exciting to understand that people have so much more freedom in conversation than they think they do, and, when the real thing isn't conveyed with nuance it becomes "top 5 conversational hacks to skip the small talk and get real" instead of a real education in the skill of building rapport, following aliveness, cultivating interest in and curiosity about other people, playfully increasing vulnerability people who want to skip the small talk are people who aren't willing to do the work of actually encountering another person and meeting them where they are. it's exactly analogous to wanting to skip foreplay. and it's a skill issue. you can already have a lot of fun with small talk if you just git gud!

you ever read something that makes you think "i should read dostoevsky" (long, hard to summarize or excerpt, well worth it, i hope this doesn't count as a 'stack link) thepsmiths.com/p/review-demo…