Can I come over and stare at u like this

Well after about 12 straight hours I’ve concluded that I SUCK at Sudoku and I’m just too dumb to play because I’m a fucking idiot loser with shit for brains

I think this is one of my best pics btw and god punished me for it

My husband always emphasizes when a professional athlete is “our age” and it just clicked for me recently that when he says that he means “he’s fucking old as shit, it’s a miracle he hasn’t torn anything” and not “impressive stuff for such a young, spry guy”

She means me. Don’t look any further into it just trust me she’s talking about me

Is her costume better than mine be honest

It’s kinda cool how every 3rd tweet on the timeline is someone saying some variation of “yeah we’re all gonna die” in reply to a news headline and it’s like that every single day

I broke the website sorry everyone

🤐🤐🤐

Stop following me you guys are giving me anxiety

I will honestly start blocking everyone who tells me I look like Inde Navarrette. I’ve had enough

First day of tomb raiding lessons

Should I post another Halloween costume? (I’m gonna)

My husband’s new thing is announcing “I’m just gonna test this for poison” to the entire house whenever he’s about to eat one of the kids’ snacks

I’m going as Kourtney in Hell this year

Personally I think nobody should be allowed out in public and everyone should be locked in an insane asylum

The only way to prove I have abs under here is to show half a tit

Can someone send me $345 it’s an emergency

Ok but why