Admiring another guy’s ass is something all guys do. It’s just locker room stuff like slapping their butt cheeks or kneading them gently with your hands. All men do it

Trump: You have Darline and her very handsome husband. That’s a good looking husband.

This past Valentine’s Day, 71-year-old Brad Reese, proud grandson of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups inventor H. B. Reese, posted a scathing open letter to the manager of corporate brand and editorial at Hershey, accusing the company of unforgivably altering many Reese’s products by replacing real chocolate with compound chocolate — basically using vegetable oils instead of cocoa butter to lower costs and replacing real peanut butter with “peanut-butter-style crèmes.” “And Reese wasn’t alone in feeling like everything was getting worse,” writes Rachel Handler. “Everyone in my life I spoke to agreed that something was amiss, that Reese’s — and commercial chocolate in general — didn’t taste the way it used to.” Handler would spend the next several months tumbling down a chocolate vortex, encountering dozens of eccentric characters, all disagreeing about the fundamental question of what chocolate even is and who it should be for. “I learned that — not to sound like a LinkedIn guy — what’s going on with chocolate is a parable for the modern world. That at this particularly bleak end stage of capitalism, everything we once treasured has or will lose its essential essence and MrBeast will always be involved somehow.” For our cover story, Handler takes a deep dive into the molten belly of the chocolate world. Read it in full: nymag.visitlink.me/vKKky_

Trump on Jon Husted: "I don't do this with men very often. I started examining his body because I didn't know he was a great athlete. And I looked and I watched up and down. I looked at his ass and I looked at the whole... And then I looked at his hands. Look at his hands. He's got these claws."

The government said 430 trees were removed from East Potomac over the weekend. Judge: "On what universe did anyone in your office think this was acceptable?" Government: "Your honor we did our best." Judge: "No you did not do your best. You did your absolute worst."