last day in san francisco during this trip, i met so many people that, for the first time ever, i finally understood what people mean when they say that their nervous system is dysregulated. i once had 4 ‘coffee chats’ in one day and downed a full latte during each one. by the fourth meeting, i could feel myself actively disassociating into the endless nuclear ether, the other persons words falling like honey across my increasingly smooth brain. i nervously asked if we could step outside, i think i need a little bit of air. they smiled and told me yes, of course, just give me a second, i need to use the bathroom. they went. and i waited and waited and waited and they never came back. after thirty minutes, i realized i had forgotten their name, and the google calendar invite had only been sent to me. i could no longer remember their face. who had i met with? i could feel my brain stem melting. i slowly approached the bathroom door and turned the handle, it was unlocked. the being i had met with was inside, their entire body turned into mass of fizzling static, blurring as it swayed from back and forth. hey man, it said, still up for that walk? i think i have to head home, i responded, but it was really great to chat. likewise, it screeched, lets keep in touch