When I was seven I was 100% convinced my babysitter Linda could talk to birds. She’d whistle at the crows in the backyard, they’d caw back, and she’d go “mm-hmm… very interesting” like she was on a call. One day I asked what they were saying. Without missing a beat she said, “That one’s pissed his neighbor stole his French fries from the McDonald’s parking lot.” I believed her so hard I told the entire school my babysitter spoke fluent bird. My teacher even brought it up at parent-teacher conferences… in a “your kid has a great imagination” way. Mom later asked Linda about it. Linda just shrugged: “Yeah I make that shit up. It’s funny.” I was devastated for days. Years later I ran into her at the grocery store. She said “Hey! How’s it going?” and every cell in my body wanted to demand an explanation about the fries. I just said “good” and left.