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Daily affirmations I tell myself:
- I am a creatine hyper responder
- I have elite genetics
- I am top 1% IQ globally
- People love talking with me
- Most people find me attractive
- People that don't are misguided
- I'm always winning
Feel free to use these. They work.
As a man, I should be able to filter flights by "Male Pilot". Women can do it for their Ubers, it's only fair.
I'd bet money there were no ambulances available because the rest of them had some obese illegal immigrants who had the sniffles on board
My 18-year old was at a friend’s last night. One of the attendees (same age) was found in the bathroom on the floor, having a seizure.
My daughter yelled for someone to call 911, and they did. This is a small SW Ontario city.
More than HALF AN HOUR later, the 911 people called back and said there were no ambulance teams to send and asked if he was “still okay.”
“NO, HE IS STILL HAVING SEIZURES.”
The ambulance never came. The kids ended up calling the boy’s mom back and told her the ambulance wouldn’t come, so she came to the house and for him and drove him herself (from out of town).
What the fuck is happening.
Don't forget the increased level of wifi signals passing through your brain
>2027
>wake up and go to bathroom
>Iran has hacked the smart toilet servers, cant flush
>wander to kitchen
>A North Korean cyberattack has taken my smart coffee machine offline
>”ok I’ll just boil water on the stove”
>smart sink bricked by Russian DDoS
>smart stove offline because I forgot to pay my stove subscription again
>fml
>”maybe a movie will distract me”
>try to turn on smart TV
>I’ve been banned from my smart remote bc it overheard me criticizing Israel
>mfw
sensible poster ✨ retweeted
Replying to @GiaMMacool
Every gym I went to in Japan banned cell phone use in the equipment areas. Not even between sets. No exceptions.
You had to go the locker room or another area to use it. They didn't play with that.
Went to a burner party and not one person was set on fire #disappointed






















