The internet is great! But isn’t it time for a sequel? Let’s build the internet 2 together! Looking for investors and ideas for what features to include.
United States
Joined January 2026
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The Internet 2 has provided Wi-Fi to the Amityville Horror house, The Conjuring Home, parts of the Labyrinth, and the Casper mansion.
We supply the wi-fi for Ed & Lorraine Warren’s Occult Museum. But recently the password was changed and some unidentified personalities have been showing up in our chat rooms. We are asking customers not to log on until we track down the issue.
For our religious customers we have uploaded a complete digital version of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. You can access your favorite verses lightning fast when you need inspiration.
We are aware of outages in Cunningham County in the Crystal Lake Area. We have sent two trucks up there to get the issue fixed. Likely a squirrel or raccoon causing problems again. As soon as we can get our repair crews to radio back we’ll have an estimate on service returning.
Haunted Internet Alternative retweeted
Fun idea: a gun that shoots the hiccups into someone, with severity settings from 1-10. C'mon science, redeem yourself.
Our Internet 2 just received a 3.2 from Nintendo Power for graphics and sound. Hey, it’s better than RoboCop2.
Haunted Internet Alternative retweeted
Wouldn't it be great if bartenders could mix metaphors for you as well? "Evenin', Joe. I'll have an extended football reference that ends with something about stamp collecting."
Our Internet 2 and AI have been helping Haddonfield Memorial Hospital save taxpayer dollars. We identify recoverable cost/loss. Like in one case, we identified a patient named “Michael” and a Dr. Loomis who wasn’t in his network. We released Michael and saved thousands.
Our AI is used to help intake patients and track there progress throughout the recovery journey at Haddonfield Memorial Hospital.
If you are contacted in one of our chat rooms by a Becca-Regina, please report it. It’s our out-of-control AI trying to catfish you. There is no such person. If you meet it at a Best Western in Tulsa we can’t be responsible for what happens.
Imagine realizing that your JC Penney bill is due. Running down to the mall. Waiting in line at the cashier/financial specialist register to pay it. Now imagine skipping all that with online bill pay. That technology doesn’t exist yet, but the internet 2 is working on it!
Our AI is so reliable it’s used to monitor serial killers in prison 24/7. Well not while I asked it to think up this post for me, but as soon as it was complete, it was right back to monitoring.
Legally we aren’t allowed to say we are the “best” internet or that our internet “works.” But you guys are smart enough to read between the lines.