Shelley retweeted
honeydew melons are a goddamn SCAM. Get the FUCK out of my $6 fruit salad you FLAVORLESS morsel of DISAPPOINTMENT.
In my group texts the women alert the men when there's a good shirt selection because we're shopping in their department.
There's nothing like a While 30 to remind you that you're terrible at small talk when sober. #idontcarewhatyouresaying
My constant old lady question.
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I just had to shave my legs with coconut oil in a New Orleans kitchen. Yeah, I'm gonna get fucked up.
I'm here to declare that unsweetened applesauce with CHERRIES is the wave of the future and I am here for it. Thank you, that is all.
Givers and Feufollet did a Cajun version of Heart of Gold and my mind done exploded. God, I love this town.
Oh geez, here we go. teapawt.org/kanyewest/status/10219…
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The best thing about Bumble is swiping right (yes) to your male friends and now they're all confused about your intentions. Just giving you a confidence boost, ma'dude!
At what point am I allowed to pop off about the constant misspelling of my name? Asking for myself, whose name as two E's.
Shelley retweeted
don’t let being right, talk you out of being kind @bobgoff
You know when you think you have your shit together and then you plop your phone into a coffee-filled cup you've left in your car for the last three days? 😒 Yeah.
Every morning I walk out telling Olive "be a good lady!" as reminder for the day. Pretty solid advice for a woman or a man. #letsallbegoodladies




