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Lawyer. I gave my life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.

D.C./Houston
Joined December 2022
Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)Photo by SpongeBob SquareAss (@thereisnojayjay)
Your girl is in Vermont 🌄🍂
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At the end of the day I think it’s just good overall that democrats are finally running hot people for office.
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Does anyone have a good explanation for why both my knees hurt all of a sudden when I’m just layin here
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Ancillary matter but it also feels like The Chicks were vindicated last night
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I’m blasting Not Ready To Make Nice while I crochet under a heated blanket, I’m in the zone
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You absolutely have to look at the screenshots in the follow-up tweet. “Splish splosh bitch” is extremely funny.
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Watching Asmongold cry over last night's midterm results wasn't just fun, it was also a really important document of where America is headed. As I wrote in the newsletter today, Gamergate ended this week.
Asmongold (@Asmongold) realizing in real time that he's a total fucking moron who got duped by the most cartoonishly obvious con-man of all time and ragequitting his election night coverage
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Americans are tired of being told their needs are unrealistic by politicians who have been bought by the wealthiest people in the country.
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Gimme three months and his golf buddies in Florida wouldn’t even vote for him. I’ll smoke him by 7. Bet on it.
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Gina Hinojosa met with Beto O’Rourke before running. "Not one person can win Texas," he told her. "It has to be two." She and Talarico ran as a ticket, each appealing to different areas and demographics. Together, they changed what’s possible in Texas. theatlantic.com/politics/202…
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Texas is now under Selena Law. You will baila esta cumbia at the HEB (all grocery stores will be now be HEB) People will be treated como la flor (con tanto amor) Children will study fotos y recuerdos of actual history Make sure your car gets that carcacha sticker
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Wore a blue top and my Texas necklace to work today because I like to be subtle
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This is possibly my favorite moment lmao
Here at Ken Paxton HQ, man in crowd yells “no!” as race called called for James Talarico. Then “Gloria” begins playing loudly on speakers.
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Walking to work and stopped to get coffee, and I swear the energy in DC right now is so different. Most people look very happy and have a pep in their step, but you can spot the republican staffers and agency political appointees because they all look like they’re gonna puke.
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Republicans should continue talking like this, screeching about it even, for the next two years at least. It’s very effective and voters love it. You will sweep the board in 2028 if you keep this up.
Texas just gave a Senate seat to a sexually ambiguous anti-meat communist who needs 14 days of solitude to recover from a sniffle Pretty much sums up the whole night
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I have a lot of acquaintances from high school who are very conservative and who follow me on Instagram, and I am being obnoxious over there, just posting story after story of Democratic wins. I can feel their hatred, it will power me through the day.
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Kinda jealous of the k-hole Elon Musk is in right now tbh
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
Dave Portnoy tearfully reading a land acknowledgment before every pizza review
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SpongeBob SquareAss retweeted
A lot of people on here are saying “Republicans shouldn’t have crashed the economy and started an unnecessary war in the Middle East.” Should the bird not fly south in the winter? Should the wolf not leave the pack to seek its mate?
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