Men used to court women because they knew marriage was often the only socially acceptable path to sex. And when sex happened before marriage, it was more commonly within an established relationship. Now, women drive straight to men's houses, while other men feel demoralized about putting effort into courtship because they see a small minority of men receiving intimacy with little effort. Women say they want flowers, romance, and courtship, yet some give men the intimacy they desire without even getting to know them. They reward men for simply existing. "But my boyfriend and I slept together on the first date!" That's misleading. Just because you married someone you slept with on the first date doesn't mean you'd encourage your daughter to sleep with every man she goes on a first date with. Casual sex was never inherently empowering. In many ways, it simply encouraged women to adopt the same sexual behaviors traditionally associated with men.

I'm friends with a DJ who runs shows at BDSM scenes. As a sex-indifferent ace who also is majoring in anthropology, I have gone to many events with him because BDSM is a whole culture and an utterly safe one to observe and learn. Every move, touch, action is based in consent.