https://teapawt.org/t.co/bVxqF3f2x9
Sydney, New South Wales
Joined April 2015
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Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Chrome DevTools now supports *individual* network request throttling!
Folks have been asking for this for years! DevTools now allows developers to simulate slow network conditions for specific requests rather than the entire page.
This helps in testing how a web application performs and handles issues when specific resources (like images, scripts, or API calls) are slow to load.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
while my friends played starcraft, i studied the compiler. and now you come to me ...
wait hold on your saying niche computer knowledge is commoditized now and what matters is coordinating a bunch of agents with lots of quick task switching and high APM
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
Two friends drink vodka and loudly tell political jokes in their hotel room. The third, exhausted, tries to sleep but cannot.
Frustrated, he goes downstairs for a smoke. On the way, he asks the receptionist to bring tea to room 39 in five minutes.
Returning upstairs, he joins them briefly, then leans toward a power outlet and says, “Comrade lieutenant, please send tea to room 39.”
His friends burst into laughter at the joke. Moments later, a knock sounds… and the receptionist arrives with a teapot. The laughter dies; his friends turn pale and silent. The evening ends abruptly, and the tired man finally sleeps.
In the morning, he wakes to find his friends gone. Alarmed, he asks the receptionist what happened.
She whispers nervously, “The KGB came before dawn and took them.”
Horrified, he asks why he was spared.
“Comrade lieutenant really liked your tea joke.”
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
In 2019, Fiona Hill testified that the Russian government was “signaling very strongly that they wanted to somehow make some very strange swap agreement between Venezuela and Ukraine.” (Search: Venezuela) i.e. we get Venezuela, they get Ukraine.
s3.documentcloud.org/documen…
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
can't believe that episode of "The Office" when Jim Halpert choreographed this entire Venezuela situation
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
I'm seriously starting to question the credibility of the FIFA Peace Prize.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Pizzato Pizza, a late night pizzeria nearby the Pentagon, has suddenly surged in traffic.
As of 2:04am ET
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
I've never felt this much behind as a programmer. The profession is being dramatically refactored as the bits contributed by the programmer are increasingly sparse and between. I have a sense that I could be 10X more powerful if I just properly string together what has become available over the last ~year and a failure to claim the boost feels decidedly like skill issue. There's a new programmable layer of abstraction to master (in addition to the usual layers below) involving agents, subagents, their prompts, contexts, memory, modes, permissions, tools, plugins, skills, hooks, MCP, LSP, slash commands, workflows, IDE integrations, and a need to build an all-encompassing mental model for strengths and pitfalls of fundamentally stochastic, fallible, unintelligible and changing entities suddenly intermingled with what used to be good old fashioned engineering. Clearly some powerful alien tool was handed around except it comes with no manual and everyone has to figure out how to hold it and operate it, while the resulting magnitude 9 earthquake is rocking the profession. Roll up your sleeves to not fall behind.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
This was the greatest illustration in the first Monster Manual, and it's not close.
Adding a chef's kiss to its greatness, in the back of the book FOUR separate artists are credited with working together on the image.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Last quarter I announced a milestone.
30% of our code is now written by AI.
I called it "engineering velocity."
The board loved that phrase.
They didn't ask what the code does.
Neither did we.
It compiles. Usually.
That's the metric.
Someone asked about testing.
I said "AI-assisted quality assurance."
That means the AI writes the tests too.
For the code it wrote.
It finds no issues.
Very efficient.
This week we admitted Windows 11 core features are broken.
Audio doesn't work.
Explorer crashes.
Updates fail to install.
Users asked why.
I said "we're investigating."
Investigating means reading the code.
The code the AI wrote.
That no human understands.
Because understanding isn't scalable.
Our CTO says 95% of code will be AI-generated by 2030.
I believe him.
I have to.
We fired the people who would check.
They were "non-essential headcount."
Essential means writes code.
AI writes code.
Humans are overhead.
Overhead gets optimized.
We optimized 10,000 engineers last year.
This year the bugs arrived.
Unrelated, obviously.
The engineers we kept are debugging AI output.
They don't understand it either.
But they're "cross-functional."
Cross-functional means they do everything.
Everything means nothing well.
A user asked why their audio disappeared after an update.
I said "install updated drivers."
They asked why the update broke the drivers.
I said "report it via Feedback Hub."
They asked what happens to feedback.
I said "it helps us prioritize."
Prioritize means add to backlog.
Backlog means never.
But politely.
Someone on Hacker News called this "a privacy and consent disaster."
I called it "an evolving user experience."
Same thing. Different framing.
We released a fix.
The fix broke something else.
The something else was also written by AI.
The fix was also written by AI.
They're collaborating now.
I call it "autonomous iteration."
The autonomous iteration has created 47 new bugs.
Each bug spawns a fix.
Each fix spawns two bugs.
Exponential growth.
Just like our stock price.
Unrelated, obviously.
Satya told Mark we're at 30%.
Mark said he didn't know Meta's number.
Sundar said Google is also at 30%.
None of us know what the code does.
But we know the percentage.
Percentage is a metric.
Metrics go in earnings calls.
Earnings calls move stock prices.
Stock prices determine bonuses.
Bonuses determine success.
Success means the bugs don't matter.
Users asked when Windows will work again.
I said "we're committed to quality."
Quality means it ships.
Ships means it's your problem now.
Thank you for being part of the Microsoft family.
Family means you can't leave.
We're in your enterprise agreement.
For three more years.
The circle of innovation.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Our CFO asked me to "audit" our software subscriptions last week.
He sent me a spreadsheet with 200 rows. Slack, Zoom, Jira, Notion, Trello, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
He wanted me to survey the team to see which tools were essential.
I told him: "Surveys are for people who care about feelings. I care about OpEx."
I deleted the spreadsheet.
Instead, I logged into the corporate Amex portal and reported the card as lost.
Every single auto-renewal in the company failed instantly.
I call this "The Scream Test."
It’s simple Darwinian procurement.
If a tool goes down and nobody runs to my desk screaming within 4 hours? We didn't need it.
The Marketing team was at my door in 10 minutes begging for Adobe. We renewed it. The Sales team was crying about the CRM in 20 minutes. We renewed it.
But here’s the interesting part.
The HR department’s "Employee Wellness & Engagement Portal" ($12,000/year) has been down for six days.
Not a single person has noticed.
I didn't just save money. I quantified the exact value of our corporate culture.
It is zero.
Stop auditing. Start unplugging. If it’s important, they’ll scream. If they don't scream, it’s just noise.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
Anthropic isn’t racing OpenAI to go public.
The math shows something different. Anthropic just raised at $350B and is targeting a $300-350B IPO. That’s zero markup. OpenAI raised at $300-500B and is targeting $1T. That’s a 2-3x jump.
When you IPO at the same price you just raised privately, you’re not optimizing for valuation. You’re buying something public markets give you that private markets don’t.
Enterprise procurement wants three things that private AI companies can’t easily provide: audited financials, SEC oversight, and quarterly transparency. A $10M AI contract from a Fortune 500 requires explaining to the board why you’re betting on a private startup. Public company status removes that friction entirely.
Anthropic is hitting $5B in revenue this year on a path to $20-26B in 2026. They don’t need capital. Private markets already handed them $350B. Going public at that same number means they’ve figured out the constraint isn’t funding, it’s trust infrastructure for selling to enterprises at scale.
OpenAI targeting $1T reveals their constraint is different. They’re burning $5B+ annually and need public markets to justify the premium. Sam Altman said it plainly: “Given the capital needs we’ll have.”
The first mover advantage here isn’t about capital access. Both can raise privately. It’s about setting enterprise adoption standards. Being the first AI company with public financials means you define what “AI company disclosure” looks like. You set the transparency bar for the entire industry.
Anthropic going at $350B while OpenAI waits for $1T tells you who’s optimizing for market expansion vs who’s optimizing for valuation arbitrage.
Andrew Hammond 🌄 retweeted
I think it's kind of depressing that the very top selling Real Time Strategy games of all time are still Age of Empires 2 (1999) and StarCraft (1998).
Has there been no huge improvements in real time strategy in 26 years?
