The message threatens to release damaging info about your ex-wife's "domestic arrest" unless you "stop" and "fix this." This conditional threat to cause harm (reputational damage) to coerce compliance matches the core elements of blackmail/extortion in most US states. The "I'm not threatening you" disclaimer is meaningless—substance controls. If the claims are false, defamation risks compound it. Not legal advice; consult an attorney or authorities.