Comedian, writer on @datinggameabc, host of @gotouchgrasspod, @waitwait contributor, creator of: @flexxmag & @dafcomedyfest https://xitter.cf/t.co/h0v9b9xzI3

New York
Joined June 2011
You have to choose one of these looks before you move to bushwick
143
2,272
611
44,364
Whacktose Intolerant retweeted
Anyway …
so grateful for Stavvy immediately pushing back against this dogshit
43
164
7
11,725
534,435
Im sure leader of the opposition party Hakeem Jefferies gonna get down to the bottom of this corruption with a strongly worded question to his homie Jared during their next boozy brunch ☺️🍸🍳
Aside from the shocking substance of this story, what's amazing is how it was unearthed by Cole. The short version: The Russians were able to penetrate Jared Kushner's iPhone and extract screenshots and data. Then, a Russian intel official was captured by Dutch intelligence (!) and flipped. The Dutch believed Kushner may have been acting on behalf of Russia, so pursued him as an intel target and were able to get into his phone. They did not find any evidence of Russian collusion, instead they watched him moving hundreds of millions of dollars from slush funds created by Saudi Arabia and the UAE, one of them housed in Israel's central bank. Incredible reporting, and if Democrats have any sense, they will pull on these threads and learn a lot more about this money.
1
257
New york is the new york of new york
i love new york. where else can you be in new york
1
69
2
1,164
13,013
Whacktose Intolerant retweeted
Trump: "African American poverty, Hispanic American poverty, and Native American poverty rates are the highest and the best numbers ever recorded by far."
757
2,889
1,568
11,028
1,518,062
Whatever philosophy helps us deconstruct"Sophia Home" is what i have #rhop
I was willing to concede “the Real Housewives is about class — it’s an Edith Wharton novel!” but you cannot ALSO have “the Real Housewives is an exploration of the nature of truth.” In general, I think it would be helpful if we could admit we like things for non-profound reasons
1
2
553
thanks, Signal Awards jury! you’re honorary tv judges now! the smartest thing i did in making this show was bring a staff of writers on board, so this gold truly belongs to the team: @becca_oneal, Ian Abramson, @holbrookba, and @MillyTamarez! employ them! judgetravis.com/signal-award…
1
2
4
261
She beat Anthony Scaramucci's Trump 1.0 record for shortest tenure by 6 WHOLE DAYS! Dont EVER say women aren't CAPABLE of GREATNESS!!!
2
38
714
In america you can call women whores on national tv and its ALL GOOD but if women want to talk about how whack the joke is the video will be TAKEN DOWN BY @nbc
3
30
928
Women are whores for wearing shorts at the gym, chinese people are annoying for being chinese in chinatown... Its about time we realized Shane Gillis is Taylor Swift for mid white men. Annoying fandom and all. Corny, hack and all they point to is ticket sales and records 🙄
1
4
86
2,612
Taylor swift at least isnt as harmful but Shane Gillis stans on EVERY platform are up there with BARBS and SWIFTIES on annoyingness levels.
1
9
330
If you say "i don't think women are whores for wearing shorts to a gym" and WITHOUT FAIL in comes a mid-level pharma sales guy calling you an ugly bitch 😤
12
222
In trumps america you cant even fuck without getting sexually transmitted diarrhea smh
Sexually transmitted diarrhea is on the rise - and it's morphing into a drug-resistant superbug trib.al/J1D5jaQ
2
4
412
The replies are getting UNHINGED
This man has been having a weeks long public crash out over *some* people finally deciding that maybe rape is bad
2
4
410
This man has been having a weeks long public crash out over *some* people finally deciding that maybe rape is bad
Michael Tracey, an online commentator who has attempted to reveal the identity of Jane Doe, shouted the Common Council down on Wednesday, claiming they had refused to let him speak and threw his public comment card into the trash.
20
92
1
1,398
54,338
Whacktose Intolerant retweeted
Mayor @ZohranKMamdani on cutting down wasteful budget spending: There was waste. There's also this addiction to consulting. When we looked at the city budget, we realized we had to save money through efficiency. So we set up something called 'Chief Savings Officers' in every department. We saved $94M just by renegotiating contracts to a better rate. We saved $24M by letting go of unused office space. I believe that government has to be the most excellent, efficient version of itself to be worthy of people's trust.
268
2,288
216
18,106
1,286,374
* taps the sign *
It’s hard to go from in love to let go in a week with no warning, but that’s just how it is sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️ I feel happy that I got to show Elon how it feels to be deeply understood, nurtured, and peacefully loved with stability and gentleness. Given the tumultuous nature of his early life, his often tortured soul, and how hard he fights for humanity I wanted him to feel the deepest and most stable form of love this world can provide. My heart is full knowing I got to do that, and I hope it leaves a lasting good effect. We were always his safe space. A place where all of us were overjoyed to see him and one that was always full of happiness and love, not war, in contrast to his otherwise militant existence (a needed break from the battlefield where he could recharge his heart and soul before heading back out) I loved being that counterbalancing place of safety, sense of calm, and love — and delighted in bringing a smile back to his face when he was down. I will miss him dearly. I’ve loved him more than life itself and he’s taught me 100 lifetimes of knowledge and made my cup overflow with life meaning, so there is a lot of loss, but luckily we created four beautiful little loves of my life ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am so beyond grateful for our children and they make every single day the best day of my life! I do hope and pray he and I can be great friends and coparents. I’m hurting, but care deeply about E and will always be cheering for his happiness. God speed, Elon, the world is lucky to have you.
1
15
1,654
People flying with 72 pounds of produce?!?!
.@CBPPortDirJFK K9 Rowdy had a busy day at JFK! He alerted to a bag from Ghana with 72 lbs of yams, veggies, and spices—all prohibited. Thanks to Rowdy, these items were stopped at the border. Who’s a good dog? 🐶🦴
5
1,033
Whacktose Intolerant retweeted
Pick me!
Who’s the next up and coming comedian? Tag them 👇🏾
12
1
176
When Trump got elected and made Betsy DeVos head of the Department of Education, one of her main platforms was overhauling title IX to make it harder to accuse and punish campus rape incidents! Trump 1.0 admin was very very pro-rape and evil!!!
You’re unable to view this Post because this account owner limits who can view their Posts. Learn more
2
20
722
There are men in my dms from Newport new jersey trying to make this a reality everyday
You know what pairing I’ve NEVER seen? Indian male black female.
1
3
542