@RussRoth4

power pop treasure hunter, dot connector, mustachioed dad of 3, favorite misheard lyric: "we're all such silly people" (Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On)

 SoCal
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Joined March 2017
  • Tweets72.3K
  • Following3.2K
  • Followers3.2K
926Media
-Be the hamburger helper. Bring me the hamburgers (Me, as a therapist)
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Ghostface Kryllah@kryzazzy12h
馃幎Whoaaa here he comes Watch out girl he鈥檒l fact you up Whooaaaa here he comes He鈥檚 a maaaannsplainer馃幎
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鈸傦笍isterD@MisterD78UK10h
Spilled my tea and my cat stared at me like I just ruined her Netflix binge.... This diva judges me harder than Simon Cowell in a bad mood
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Forward March@RunOldMan18h
Fastest run ever!! I just ran 1/1000th of a mile in 6 seconds cause I had to pee like really bad.
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Slappy@Slapmemam10h
ate something called family size
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Sabrina
@neu_rot_icOct 26
being alone is great because you can get all the strange noises out your head through your mouth
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Festus@neledmaxOct 26
The wind whispering through its branches is just how the forest calls to me
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Natalie Would@_NatalieWouldOct 26
The early bird doesn't need all that pressure
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Claire Behind The Hair@urmumsausername19h
I once heard of a lumberjack who wasn't ok.
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Festus@neledmaxOct 26
Silence and keeping to myself are all the therapy I need
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鈸傦笍isterD@MisterD78UKOct 26
"Psst.. here's what we should've said" *my 3am brain waking me to replay an argument from 7 years ago
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Slappy@SlapmemamOct 27
i paid my taxes where is my little scratch-and-sniff sticker
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Uptown Schmuck@SchmuckOnAHorseOct 26
Parallel parking tests should be required before buying pickups.
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Rick Colby
@RickBColbyOct 26
Sorry I ruined things by evolving.
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Cali@calidaysayOct 26
Is the Bermuda triangle still accepting victims, or did it retire?
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AXS TV
@AXSTVOct 25
馃槀馃槀
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Natalie Would@_NatalieWouldOct 26
Munchausen by proxy? that's just lazy
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Slappy@SlapmemamOct 26
the doctor said to avoid stress so i blocked most of my family
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Teresa Sheffield@TerfleazaOct 26
Ngl if Uber had an option to take a horse I would be late for a massive amount of things.
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krista
@kristabellerinaOct 26
I鈥檓 never more optimistic than when I don鈥檛 order fries because I think my husband will share his with me.
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