Forward March (@RunOldMan) | teapawt

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Forward March@RunOldMan14 Sep 2020

Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.

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X🇨🇦@FFmaxhyde18h

I fucking like wine drunk and fucking high...happy and fucking nappy

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ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ

Choosing your long-term health over temporary pleasure is real self-care.

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X is the only place where we fight all day and follow each other to continue tomorrow.

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🐺 Horror Archaeologist 🧛‍♂️@ClassADudeOct 23

Without the sex, Jason would just be another creepy hiker wielding a machete.

@TheCinestheticOct 23

What’s a sex scene that was genuinely essential to the story, revealing something about the characters or changing the course of the plot, rather than just being there for the sake of it?

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@farmgirlfunny5h

She is not wrong

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Michael@michaelo20167h

Them: Weren’t you just at Disneyworld last month? Me: First of all, lower your unmagical voice

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Michael@michaelo201610h

500 years from now nobody will know the difference. Shoot your shot.

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If content is king, then context is its crown jewel.

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TattoosBeardNGuns

@DaddyBugsio21h

Before this starts… I’ve got the Brewers in 6

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ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ

*sterilizes every bottle* *watches the baby chew on a sock from the floor* *stares at the sock for a second* *retires from parenting*

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Some lovers don’t lie to keep you from leaving. They lie because they want to keep enjoying a version of the relationship you would never agree to if you knew the whole story.

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Functionally Feral@FeralFerrell18h

gotta stop being so dramatic cause I just typed “oh nooooooo” and it autocorrected to “oh moo”, a vastly different sentiment

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David 🎃@DBStonerOct 23

Even Steven saw what what was happening and called it odd.

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David 🎃@DBStoner5h

Them: Who hurt you. Me: Self inflicted.

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Deann@CarpeDeannOct 23

I was so burnt out I didn’t see the corporate burnout seminar invite until 3 days after it passed.

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🇨🇦 Smokey 🇨🇦@420iloveweed8h

Rise and grind fuckwads.

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T@BellahJosie17h

hey dj, could you play that song endlessly

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Jö$h@JoshKing219h

Maybe if someone dismembered me it would break the curse

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Benny Boop💋@Bernadette1019711h

🖤🐼🤍

Panda@giantpanda001Oct 20

just having a good time 😊

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𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓷 ꨄ@_Datewthdestiny9h

Early morning sky

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