dave. (@ewitsdave) header
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basically I’m skinny mother teresa | 5’11” but 6’5” on Grindr | he/him

Chicago, IL
Joined August 2010
Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)Photo by dave. (@ewitsdave)
thank you for an unforgettable weekend, @lollapalooza! see you next year 😉✨💖
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I’m going to kms… I’ve opened almost 1000 chests and nothing
tell me how we happened to get this on his first ever real game of fortnite... literally account level 10
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dave. retweeted
no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling. teeth jitterbug, mind boggling, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip bitting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos, he could put a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride.
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The results are in…
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dave. retweeted
a genuine gasp escaped me at that close up of his ass oh my lord im so sorry
this must be how kris jenner felt about kim’s sex tape
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me af
I’m quitting my job to focus on finding the fortnite pirate shop token
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dave. retweeted
The Bible spent centuries warning Christians about false prophets, and MAGA took one look at a convicted felon selling Bibles and said, "That's our Messiah."
Trump says that he will "take Christians to the promise land. And I've done that."
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Congratulations, @HaleyforMI! This is your party now. I guess you’re okay with the “right” kind of bigotry and racism, huh?
Q: "What did [Haley Stevens] say back to you?" Mike Johnson: "I've spoken her and encouraged her to stay safe." Q: "Do you think she's not safe?" Johnson: "I don't know." Trump: "They're dangerous. He's a jihadist."
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period now deport her
Michigan Democratic Party chair Curtis Hertel removes Haley Stevens from the Michigan Democratic Party following endorsement of Mike Rogers: "Congresswoman Stevens is not a current member of the Michigan Democratic Party, nor will she be in the future."
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denaturalize her and deport!!!
Congresswoman Haley Stevens is at a Black church with Mike Rogers today. Wow.
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Michigan, let’s win this together.
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Democratic Leadership needs to come out and condom @HaleyforMI TODAY. All in for @AbdulElSayed and run through the finish line. Michigan, make the right decision.
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fucking loser omg I hope you never have an enjoyable day again. May every day be more miserable than the last.
I am endorsing Mike Rogers for the United States Senate today.
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my only issue with sprites is the time for the extraction crate to appear… it’s far too long given how small the map is @EpicTofuChris @FortniteStatus
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his legs bound…his foot tattoo…Hudson at the end of the bed. AO3 may be down but I’m not
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Warning to parents: Check your kids’ Halloween candy. We found pronouns in the Starburst, socialism in the Snickers, and a gender reassignment surgery in the Twix. Nobody wants to work anymore.
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dave. retweeted
kids ringing my door at 3pm for candy…..fat
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Me theory is someone dropped out that would’ve been the mystery 6th pirate crew but now they’ll rush to make a mini pass based off either A$AP or Uzi or a combo of the two
Extending the LEGO and Music Passes wasn’t the right move. Here’s the plan: 🎤 The next Music Pass now drops November 12. Stay tuned for the headliner reveal. 🧣 The new LEGO Pass drops December 5 with our next big update. Pack your bags, KD Rattical. To get these passes to you sooner, they’ll be a little smaller, similar to our mini season Battle Passes, and cost 1,000 V-Bucks. Future passes will return to their regular size and come out more often.
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boo bitch! 👻
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Haley Stevens is an idiot btw
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