"dont forget to follow us on apple, spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts" me, staring down at my hands and whispering in existential crisis, 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒹𝑜 𝒾 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝑜𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓈𝓉𝓈

he invited her to view but not edit - rupi kaur

getting on my 6am PST video call where everyone else is EST outside so i can stretch and yawn and say 'haha sorry, the sunrise is in my face, just watching the sun RISE over here in california, the golden state, 3 hours behind, any of you new yorkers ever heard of it?'

the greatest failure of the 21st century is that we have the technology to make everything a vending machine and we choose not to

Corporate America is like u get one day to be funny. As soon as the clock strikes April 2 it’s back to peeing in bottles but for today we are fun

he was a boat, she was a canal, can i make it any more obvious?

RIP Socrates he would have loved clubhouse

Feels weird to tweet about something that isn’t a joke about selling pictures of my feet but.... I am officially a @Google engineer!!!!

Me: [ok small talk time] hey nice hair cut. I mean beard cut. I mean shave Coworker on zoom: sorry can you repeat that? Bad connection Me: [oh good I get a do over don’t mess this one up] I said beard

This Touch Bar option for an automatic winking emoji for slack located dead center of the keyboard has convinced me to give up technology. You can reach me by pigeon from now on

Parler thinking they can just whip up an AWS replacement in the garage in one week

u should be able to share @github repos to @instagram stories the way u can with @spotify songs. im @ ing these companies bc i know they care

every thanksgiving me and my parents sit around our big table and pretend like our 3 dogs are our visiting relatives from out of town. but now its recommended by the CDC

Someone out here living my dream