Terri (@terrip38) header
Terri (@terrip38) profile picture

Gen X latchkey kid. Caution: Bad jokes ahead.

the chuckle patch 馃尲
Joined January 2010
Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)Photo by Terri (@terrip38)
Pinned Tweet
I inadvertently bought acetone-free nail polish remover which turns out to be a solid option if you want to make removing toenail polish a weeklong project.
27
56
4
6,310
87,051
It鈥檚 not like I want to judge you for your spelling, I just can鈥檛 help it.
10
19
223
Workouts started and finished under cover of darkness aren鈥檛 just for Olympians anymore. They鈥檙e also for aging insomniacs who hate crowds the week before the clocks fall back.
2
8
333
Terri retweeted
Shout out to the mom who signed up for juice boxes within seconds of the class Halloween party list going out
6
7
89
1,375
I never know how to act when a driver lets me cross the street. My instinct is to wave like I'm in a parade, then regret it with every step.
2
4
61
1
1
41
All this technology and no one invents a high metabolism easily digestible cheese that鈥檚 awesome.
3
12
34
805
Terri retweeted
Pretty sure my computer is opening new tabs behind my back, there's no way these are all mine
2
22
85
1,440
The percentage of people reading this who鈥檝e actually seen oxygen masks drop will be low but probably not zero.
3
9
249
I need Google Translate to understand my kid鈥檚 slang.
7
36
1
86
1,666
My kid: what I learnt from Home Alone movie was that when your family forgets you, you should jump on the bed while eating popcorn
5
34
75
Duran Duran no longer has an excuse for being Hungry Like The Wolf. They can DoorDash.
15
31
545
Every time I lay my head down to sleep my brain starts dumb conversations with me.
5
16
50
976
Terri retweeted
If glass bottom boats are reality then why can鈥檛 we have glass bottom planes?
2
2
13
280
Terri retweeted
I wish I loved anything as much as Teams loves trying to get me to turn my microphone on when I'm coughing
1
14
40
938
Terri retweeted
Accidentally brought a steak knife to a vampire fight
3
13
34
918
Sometimes I get a little melancholy thinking about how Howard Cunningham would feel about Home Depot.
1
3
12
280
Terri retweeted
Going to ask the mailman to put the political flyers directly into the recycling bin to save me a step
5
15
62
1,441
I have Schr枚dinger鈥檚 temper - it is both there and not there until tested.
2
11
32
642
I don鈥檛 often inadvertently set off my car鈥檚 panic alarm but when I do it鈥檚 well before sunrise.
1
4
19
494
There are people who spend hours carving pumpkins and I just ate a banana because I didn't want to cut up an apple.
7
35
4
597
8,782