pete harte retweeted
This should be printed off and sent to anyone invited to Christmas Dinner! – at Tottenham, London
Anybody get stressed about Christmas Dinner ? Read this from a butcher,
I’ve pinched this, but it’s fab!!
😂Just in case anyone is stressing about Christmas Day..............! 😂
Here's my top tip
🎄Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!!
The only difference is that you are allowed to open a bottle of wine before you open the kitchen curtains. 🍷🍷🍷
🙄We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...💓
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!👏🏼
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)😜
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor anyone else I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables...🍆 Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂
🎄Merry Christmas!🎄
Cheers 🍷🍷🍷 Getting you all in the mood.
pete harte retweeted
Wait till you see Peter Sutcliffe reverse park an 18 wheeler.
pete harte retweeted
Hedy Lamarr was born OTD in 1914.
First woman to appoint a black sheriff, she was exposed as a corrupt politician with a love of Raisinets and Teutonic twats. She risked it all, including a Best Supporting Oscar, for a railway, and died after being shot in the groin... Oh, wait.
pete harte retweeted
I have introduced a bill to introduce compulsory labelling of halal and kosher meat.
Consumers have a right to know what they are eating. Yet every day people are consuming halal and kosher meat without knowing it - that’s meat where the animal has its throat slit and often is not stunned before slaughter.
At its heart, this is a straightforward proposal built on consumer choice, animal welfare and transparency. It is not about banning halal or kosher meat but about the compulsory labelling of it, which is currently only voluntary, so as to ensure consumers know what they are buying.
What began as a limited religious exemption has become an increasingly significant part of meat production.
pete harte retweeted
Sorry vegans, it’s better to drink milk from a cow than an almond.
Colour me shocked
Penned by @Jamie_Blackett in the Telegraph, gifted for your delectation by me.
telegraph.co.uk/gift/52278c3…
pete harte retweeted
Fresh hope?
Try telling that to this young Northern business owner.
Shameful.
@andyburnham
@johnheley
@jreynoldsMP
@TorstenBell
pete harte retweeted
Having met with senior management at the club a few times over the past couple of years,the approach to communication with fans does not surprise me. It always came across that fans were an inconvenience. I urge everyone concerned about the running of the club to join OxVox #oufc
pete harte retweeted
Defra has rejected our request for more time to respond to its call for evidence on gamebird rearing, release and shooting in England, leaving participants fewer than three weeks to make their voices heard.
More here: basc.org.uk/basc-request-to-…
#voiceofshooting
pete harte retweeted
Traffic filters scheme sees city centre gridlock bbc.in/3TSmQ1E
pete harte retweeted
A huge thanks to all listeners and viewers that have joined for the coverage of Nottinghamshire's 2026 cricket season. Thanks to @bbcrns for allowing me to cover the matches on their behalf. It remains a great privilege to do so.
pete harte retweeted
Great news. But they still have a week to decided if they will try their luck with their weak arguments at the Court of Appeal.
Oxford United can confirm, following an oral renewal hearing earlier today, that a High Court Judge has refused permission for a judicial review relating to the planning permission for the Club’s proposed new stadium.
Having heard submissions from Counsel for each of Friends of Stratfield Brake (the Claimant), Cherwell District Council, Oxfordshire County Council and Oxford United, the Judge concluded that the grounds of challenge were unarguable.
oufc.co.uk/news/high-court-r…
pete harte retweeted
A huge thank you to local suicide prevention service, Nai’s House, for joining us at the Kassam Stadium yesterday as part of our Can We Talk? campaign. 💛
Thank you for being there for our supporters, sharing vital suicide prevention advice and helping us continue the conversation around mental health.
pete harte retweeted
Michael Holding took a caught-and-bowled to dismiss Ian Botham, but pulled his hamstring in the process. Botham then helped carry M. Holding off the field as he walked back to the pavilion himself.
A brilliant reminder of why we love this game.
pete harte retweeted
Absolutely the future is key its just a shame those inside the club dont want to talk
pete harte retweeted
4 years of developing together for this moment at home in the football league 😍💛💙 #OUFC
