Chris

Many of us on the 12-step journey have felt let down by organized religion, especially when we were taught to see God as a "Cosmic Butler"—someone who caters to all our needs and desires without requiring anything in return. Like Jelly Roll sings, we often find ourselves only talking to God when we need a favor. It’s the modern-day form of foxhole faith: "Just get me out of this," and I swear I'll never be bad again! But God is so much more. God resides within each of us, embedded in our very creation. We all possess unique gifts and talents meant to enhance our lives and uplift those around us. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by our abilities or focusing solely on personal gain, our true calling is to use these gifts to support others and build a nurturing community. I’ve experienced this firsthand. Whenever I moved to a new city or started a new job, I often felt alone and isolated. I would pray for God to place the right people in my life, but then I realized that God expects us to walk the walk. So, I would seek out activities to get myself out there—joining clubs, attending events, anything that could help me meet new people. When I met someone who seemed nice, I’d invite them to lunch, coffee, a walk, a movie, rollerblading, or just hanging out on the beach. Through these efforts, I discovered whether we were part of the same tribe. Sometimes we became acquaintances, other times like stepbrothers, best friends, or kindred spirits. For example mutual aid networks that surged during the COVID-19 pandemic. People didn’t just focus on their own survival; they reached out to support their neighbors by delivering groceries, providing emotional support, and sharing resources. This collective effort ensured that even when one person faced difficulties, the entire community benefited from shared strength and support. As Joseph Campbell wisely noted, "If you want to save the world, save yourself first." By focusing on our personal growth and healing, we naturally contribute to the well-being of those around us. In our recovery, it’s about discovering and nurturing our talents, taking active responsibility for our growth, and serving others. By doing so, we create a network of mutual support where everyone’s strengths contribute to our shared resilience and success. Healing comes through connection and empowerment, not through dependency or passive expectation. Let’s embrace a faith that encourages us to act, grow, and build meaningful relationships. By giving to make our recovery community stronger and having a tribe to lean on when we’re struggling, we foster an environment of genuine support and shared triumphs. This isn't about collectivism; it's about individual contributions that enhance the well-being of the entire group. Together, we can create a community where our inner strengths shine, fostering a place of true connection and collective well-being.

"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing." – Dostoevsky This reminds us that the hardest amends to make are often to ourselves. We cling to guilt and shame, thinking punishment will redeem us. But in reality, that’s just pride—refusing to let go of control. Dostoevsky's words highlight how we betray our true selves by holding onto pain, wasting time, and chasing illusions of control. Yet, our Higher Power has already forgiven us. The only thing left is to surrender, accept grace, and forgive ourselves. Freedom begins when we stop betraying who we were meant to be. Let go.

Angels go where they are asked and demons go where they are not resisted.

Step 3 “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him” I highlighted the words in this step because, in early sobriety, it seemed like a monumental, unchangeable commitment for life. However, I've come to realize it's a daily decision, focused on actions within my control. Each day begins with the third step prayer and additional personal prayers, reinforcing my commitment to focus on the present moment. "I can't. God can. I need to let Him," guides me to distinguish between my actions and the outcomes, which are in the hands of God and the universe. The third step prayer is for me. I also recite a prayer from a book given by someone significant before my sobriety, to honor them and acknowledge the times when I was unaware of the higher power's guidance. Years and experiences have taught me that we're not in control of our lives; we only control our actions and must accept that plans can change unexpectedly. Alanis Morissette captured the irony of life's unpredictability with her lyrics, "It's like rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you've already paid, the good advice that you just didn't take." These words reflect on the unexpected turns despite our plans. This realization has often led me to appreciate, in hindsight, why certain prayers went unanswered. Joseph Campbell and others have referred to these as the "invisible hands" or "Hidden Hands" of God. God is a term for the aspects of the universe beyond human comprehension. This is why the term was chosen, allowing for personal interpretation of a higher power, beyond the confines of traditional religion. The program's use of "God" often challenges atheists, but it's designed to be inclusive, allowing for any interpretation of a higher power. Separating "God" from "religion" is crucial for understanding this aspect of the program. Criticism from atheists about the use of "God" in AA reflects a misunderstanding. The program's effectiveness lies in its flexibility and the principle of personal understanding. Exploring various beliefs has shown me that at their core, all seek to represent "The Truth." Reality exists independently of our beliefs, akin to gravity. If religion or traditional concepts of God don't resonate, one might consider "The Truth" or "Good. Orderly. Direction" as a starting point. The emphasis on honesty is echoed in the program's literature, suggesting that success in recovery is linked to a commitment to rigorous honesty. In exploring spirituality, including teachings like the Upanishads, I've found that many paths converge on the importance of surrendering to a higher truth or reality, reinforcing the message of the third step. Surrendering to a Higher Reality - Katha Upanishad: The Katha Upanishad features a dialogue between Yama and Nachiketa, focusing on the nature of the soul and ultimate reality. It discusses the journey of the soul and the importance of realizing the Supreme Self (Atman) beyond the physical world. This teaching aligns with the third step of the 12-step program, which involves surrendering one's ego and individual will to a higher spiritual truth or power. The Katha Upanishad emphasizes that true knowledge and liberation come from understanding and surrendering to a greater reality beyond our sensory experience.

The secret to long term sobriety is accepting that alcohol is only a symptom of the root problem. Then you can treat the problem and the symptom won't return.