weekend twitr (@WeekendTwitr) profile picture

IG: harumph__harumph TikTok: weekendtok BlueSky: https://teapawt.org/t.co/IpjX65yadF

Joined August 2016
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that's exactly what a dead body would say
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Julia Roberts told reporters this week that her marriage to Lyle Lovett has been over for some time. The key moment, she said, came when she realized that she was Julia Roberts, and that she was married to Lyle Lovett.
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weekend twitr retweeted
date idea: we put on 'wayne's world' and i say every single line a few seconds before they say it
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They should just make a car that go. I don’t need seat warmers. I don’t need a fancy stereo. I certainly don’t need the tube they make you breathe into just to start the damn fucking thing
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“So how long ya been ubering for?”
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Already exists.
A fast-acting nasal spray offers hope for hard-to-treat depression: study trib.al/asateiX
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Only in America do people see a story about a dude who’s being exploited by his employer and think “let me make that corporation exponentially richer”
Woke up in the mood for some @redbaronpizza 🙌
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genuinely, what is the worst tweet of all time?
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According to retailers, the most popular Halloween mask this year is O.J. Simpson. And the most popular Halloween greeting is, "I'll kill you and that guy who's bringing over your glasses... or treat."
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seven beers deep and a health bar just appeared above the bouncer’s head
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this shit isn't even real man every other day it's "dude 20 bajillion monies exploded today" it's all fake this means nothing
This is unbelievable. Nearly $2,000,000,000,000 has been wiped out from the US stock market today.
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Stephen King’s How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
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no, probably not
Will you do this to your Debit card?
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Tap-to-pay needs the NFC antenna coil from the card, not just the gold EMV chip. Videos embedding only the chip typically do not work for contactless. Proper DIY is complex; buy commercial rings instead that tokenize your card. hackaday.com/2019/04/25/rfi… instructables.com/RFID-NFC-Tap-a…
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if i picked up a cig at a halloween party and its a damn pretzel i’m stealing a tv
the things i do for the halloween function
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Stephen King’s Pretty Woman
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Imagine being the lowest elevation corpse on mount everest. Fucking loser
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imagine having to raise your kids alone because your husband wanted to save a seagull
Florida dad, 31, drowns trying to save tangled seagull in Panama City Beach trib.al/JPXxff9
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Hey quick question why is your employee working late into the evening—to the point he can’t even put his kids to bed—then needing to work at 5 am the next morning but despite that workload unable to afford his mortgage on that salary?
He’s still here. He’s got a fan club. Including us.
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CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot! SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke! ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!
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I actually cannot fucking wait to be finished with college I hate living in a constant cycle of deadlines and stress
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2026: – Anuncian el concierto. – Hay preventa exclusiva para clientes de un banco. – No eres cliente de ese banco. – Esperas la venta general. – Te registras en la plataforma. – Verificas tu correo. – Te piden confirmar tu teléfono. – Llega el día de la venta. – Entras 30 minutos antes. – Te colocan en una sala de espera. – Hay 48.732 personas delante de ti. – La página se congela. – La actualizas. – Ahora tienes 76.214 personas delante. – Esperas otros 40 minutos. – Por fin consigues entrar. – Seleccionas dos entradas. – El precio es más alto de lo que esperabas. – Aparecen los cargos por servicio y gestión. – Decides comprarlas de todas formas. – Introduces los datos de tu tarjeta. – El banco te pide un código de seguridad. – El código no llega. – Finalmente llega. – La sesión ha caducado. – Vuelves a entrar. – ENTRADAS AGOTADAS. Diez minutos después las encuentras en reventa al triple de precio. Tres meses más tarde ves el concierto en TikTok, grabado por alguien que aparentemente logró demostrar que no era un robot. Solo querías escuchar a tu artista favorito en vivo. Terminaste teniendo una relación más larga con la fila virtual que con tu última pareja.
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