porous/freak
Salty Spitoon
Joined September 2026
- Tweets872
- Following210
- Followers523
- Likes5.4K
HowlingSponge retweeted
Looking forward to my daily shit because the momentary pressure against my prostate is the only semblance of pleasure I get in my chud life
HowlingSponge retweeted
Found out the cute barista’s shift ends at 9 and showed up with flowers to surprise her. After her eyes did a thing I’d only ever seen on deer, I watched as she backed across the parking lot with keys clenched between the knuckles of her shaking fist. Ball is in her court now.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Calling upon every molecule of test in my body I manage to hand J'quamelius a bar of soap and ask if he kisses my wife with that mouth after catching him swearing at 2K
HowlingSponge retweeted
Yesterday I was gettin’ my salad tossed in in an Arby’s parking lot by the emfoidee on shift when suddenly she stops and exclaims, “I never knew some dudes have bussy flaps.. I like it!” and then she kept going, moaning even harder.. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it hurt a lot when she nipped my hemorrhoids with her teeth. So now I’ll be sitting on a donut pillow for the next week.
HowlingSponge retweeted
This happened to me except it was cum on my sheets that my mom found while I was at school. It was my cum tho I did that shit.
When I was around fourteen my dad confronted me over a charge on the cable bill for some pay per view porno movie to which he naturally assumed I purchased. I don’t know if it was a glitch or something but I really did not order it. This thing is though I knew this was the case, as I tried to explain myself to my obviously dubious father even I kind of didn’t believe what I was saying, it felt like lying about the truth somehow
The wife has been denying all my advances at sex lately and cooked me a bullshit crockpot dinner tonight so I been in the living room pelting her black son in the back of the head with peanut m&m's and muttering slurs at him
He has been reading me Diary of a Wimpy Kid the last week before I go to bed and it is super romantic. We have not had sex.
HowlingSponge retweeted
There's a saying "like putting lipstick on a pig" but I feel like I'd be way more likely to kiss a pig with lipstick, this pig is putting in some effort. What is this pig wearing? A nice sundress maybe? I might fuck this pig guys.